Questions and Doubts

Well it seems we've reached the Question and Doubt portion of the pre-production show. After a weekend out of town I've come home to face reality and make many long To-do lists. Logistically,  I shoot in a month and a half, so I have time for costumes and props, which is convenient because my art director (Mo) is plenty busy in these upcoming weeks (see her posts for proof). I'm working on scheduling rehearsal time and communicating with SAG, but what's really stressing me out is locations. 

Locations and my story as a whole. For the time being, positive classmate and professor feedback had been enough to overshadow any doubt I had been having but now it's back. Mainly because whenever I try to explain the plot of my movie to anyone they give me the same blank stare back. I find myself covering, defending, dismissing; cowardly adding on some "don't worry, it's way cooler than I'm describing it." But frankly, that just shouldn't be. The fact that I've yet to come up with a logline satisfying enough to please the random people I tell my project about is really starting to worry me about the story as a whole. Is it just completely stupid? I've been telling myself that a lot of the humor comes from the story format, but is that a lie? I'm hoping that this is the normal self-deprecating jitters that everyone goes through, and that it'll pass. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONIQUE!

It is the early morning of Monique's 21st birthday! She has chosen to celebrate this event by sleeping (good choice) and I have chosen to celebrate it by not sleeping, as I can't for the life of me get motivated to write this damn paper. 

I'm just done with "real" classes. I feel done with writing papers, I just don't want to do them anymore. This isn't a difficult essay, I've already outlined and researched it, but for the past 48 hours, including the 4 I spent at work today doing nothing, I just stare at the blank word document and simple don't feel like writing. 

It's due in about 11 hours, and it's a short enough paper that I can probably pump it out in two or three hours, but I can't start it. It'll happen, but it might take another hour of procrastinating. 

Anywho, I hope that Monique has a lovely birthday because she is a lovely lady. 

Dear Monique,

Have we switched bodies? Have you become me? I ask you this for two reasons: firstly, because I cleaned a lot yesterday and that is clearly a You trait and secondly because you are starting to stress like me. I'm not saying you are not allowed to stress and freak out, you obviously obtain that right. However, I am saying that I know it'll all work out. Really, this is just me stating that I will be your cuddle producer. End of story. 

Love,

Sarah 

Lazy Day

As I sit enjoying one of the last lazy weekends I'll be able to have for some time I am struck by how calm I feel. My day has been an interesting mix of productive and useless. I ran some errands, did the dishes, worked on my script, wrote my character descriptions and some logline attempts, and have also watched an absurd amount of television. 

When the programming on Food Network was too underwhelming I found myself watching some show about wedding planning on one of those channels that would have shows about wedding planning. I couldn't help but think about how if/when I ever get married I'll be so much more together than these crazy people. My logic? It's pre-production. It's the exact same process, same stress over details leading up to one short weekend, and even the type of details are similar. There are costumes, locations, set decorations, catering; it's the same type of obsessing we've all been doing for our projects now. 

That's why it's comforting to know that my current strange wave of serenity is able to occur as I kick my pre-production into gear. I have a new zen-like mentality that I wonder if I'll be able benefit from, or even sustain longer than this weekend. Now that I have a script that I'm happy with I have an alarmingly passive que sera mindset that everything will fall into place. Should I trust this calm and embrace it? Should I get back to my anxious ways and feed off the stress as usual? 

Do it to it,

Sarah 

Yay New Things!

As Monique so proudly declared earlier: our blog is transforming anew! Since we are now happily reunited and are no longer living in Summer Fantasy land, the new direction of our lives is our our senior projects! 

Despite the fact that other classmates of ours have been deep in pre-production for weeks (*cough* Monique *cough*) and I have been lagging slightly behind, I think that today feel like the official starting point of this project for me. Today in class we planned out the shooting schedule for the semester and I now have official shooting dates to work towards. This makes it real. Too real. Good real. My story currently exists as a treatment which is being made into a script by Katie, whom I trust greatly as a writer. Once this script gets nailed down it's location scouting, casting, rounding out the crew, and getting down to business. I finally feel ready and excited. 

It's on. It's so on. 

New blog direction calls for a new sign off:

Do it to it,

Sarah 

T Town, the you and me town.

So I'm back in our hot hot hot Tucson house. Tomorrow will bring roomie Tom Tom Tom and the first of three seven-hour work training days. You win some, you lose some. 

So as I'm sitting and sweating and shmittenkitten-ing (how did I survive for so long without this blog?!?!) I'm trying to stay calm about the fact that I'm sitting on the edge of senior year. And I need Monique to be home STAT. And I need babywine. And I need our air conditioning to kick in. And then all will be well with the world. 

Stuck

I'm in The Hometown Lull in addition to my writers block. I've outlined 3 different scripts since being here, one is promising but that hasn't kept me from thinking about all the ways that it's flawed. Will I ever be inspired again?

At least I'm relaxing, kind of, to the best of my ability. I'm excited to get back to Tucson in a week but terrified that we're that close to starting the semester and I'm still so clueless. Despite my lack of direction I'm stoked for this year. Since Jesse will be making his triumphant return to Tucson it makes me realize how much happier I am since freshman year when I met him. It'll be the usual crew plus Jesse plus legal drinkers all around and I just hope that we're all able to play as hard as we work this upcoming semester. And I want neighborhood dinners, damnit. I want them now.

For now I'm doing "home things", like hanging with my sister, seeing the few high school friends that I still like seeing, going to a Red Sox game tomorrow night - my first in 4 or 5 years - which I'm very excited for. Whenever I visit Boston in the spring or summer I'm always reminded by how much I love the city, but am increasinly saddened by how little of a life left I have in it. I'm admiting to myself now that I'd actually like to have a life in Boston again one day, I just don't know how soon that day is.

Bye kids,
Sarah

I'm home...

now what?

-S

live every week like it's shark week

I've been spending a few days in my family's summer house in The Hamptons before heading back home to Massachusetts. This house is where I am able to relax more than any other place. It's so familiar, full of memories, and is usually filled with my favorite families. 

As relaxing as the days are here, the nights are something else. After everyone else goes to bed, I can never sleep. I sit on the couch watching some sort of late night food television and grow more and more antsy. 

Last night, in addition to the restlessness, there was script anxiety. I read about four of the stories George had sent me and dismissed all of them (probably too quickly) for various reasons. I wrote down a list of imagery I like, themes and subject matter I have been thinking about lately, and various lines of dialogue that I had heard recently in daily life that I thought were intriguing. I read this list over and over and am still as lost as ever.

I've started going back, farther mentally than I think qualifies as "Square 1", to the idea of doing a music video or a documentary. At this point I'm open to absolutely anything. I just feel completely uninspired, like I'm deep in a creative lull. I don't know what I need to do to get inspired, but it needs to happen quick. 

I'll be back home tomorrow, where I'll be downloading Celtx to my dad's computer until my new lappy arrives. I have a sick feeling that I'll be sending Makino 5-7 completely different scripts in a few weeks and telling her to chose. Each script will include an underwater, green-screen sex scene. Fact. 

Bye kids,

Sarah

Listening to: SHARK WEEK!

Hey Tucson Hey!

I am home, in our little duplex on 1st street, with lots of little bugs that worked their way in somehow. It's weird. Super duper weird. It all seems familiar enough; my bed still feels like my bed (and is still as amazingly cozy as ever), I still can fall asleep in one of our chairs in less than five minutes, and it looks like the same house I habitated in all of last year. But it's just all wrong. It probably feels that way for the following reasons: 1) I have no computer to occupy my time and I am incredibly lost and bored as hell without it. 2) I am alone in the house, without my Mo and without Mr. Tom even though I see evidence of his existance everywhere and am constantly tempted by the sixpack of Dos Equis that he left in our fridge. 3) Since reasons 1 and 2 have left me completely stir crazy in the house, all I want to do is go outside but it's so miserably hot out that I regret that decision within minutes of walking out the front door.

At least the library is air conditioned. I drove here because I didn't want to walk in the 110 degree heat but the drive is so short that I felt pathetic.

At least George, Nick and Allen are around so I've seen them a little. Still, the two days I've been here have been painfully long and lonely. I miss the beach and the breeze and the endless amount of activities that exist in LA. I'm also very very ready to fly back east tomorrow. I need to recouperate from the summer, I need to see the people from my Old Life, I need to write a script that I am happy with.

I am still as lost as ever when it comes to my script. I want to write about robbery, since I have it on my mind, but when I told the Momelet my idea she dismissed it as contrived. Of course it is; I feel contrived.

I'll be without a laptop to call my own for a while longer, but I'll have my sister's laptop to dick around with once I get home before my own lappy arrives.

I'm not ready to be back here for real. I'm not ready for the semester to start. I'm just not ready to be a real person again after this summer.

Bye kids, be well,
Sarah

Listening to: Some guy getting tutored in History a few computers down.

P.S. MONIQUE I SAW SKYLER! I was walking out of the blood drawing room after getting some taken and there she was sitting in the waiting room with her adorably large-headed baby. She said the shoot was great and she's very please with it, so obviously in my head I gave you all of the credit for that.

"Let's tear up Santa Monica like it tore you up" -Jesse

After a whole summer of talking about how wonderful and safe and perfect Santa Monica is, Katie and I got our wake up call. Figures that it had to come out last weekend in town (Katie's last night in town, no less, as she is now back in Phoenix) but this Saturday night our house was broken into and both of our laptops were stolen. We suspect that it was some punk kid from the neighborhood, since he clumsily left behind finger prints, and the power adapter to my computer which he had unplugged and wrapped up thus leaving behind more finger prints. Our landlady is so shocked by what happened she is convinced that it couldn't be someone from the neighborhood and must be someone we know. A scary thought - but one that Katie and I refuse to believe. So after the initial shock of being robbed, waiting until 4am for the cop (a cute one, actually) to arrive, a manically giggly photo shoot reenacting the nights events at 5am, and being woken up by the forensics investigator at 6:30am and 8am respectively, it was quite the evening. Jesse slept through most of it, including the cop's visit, and now his sleeping self is pictured in the photos from the police report because we didn't want to wake him to take them. 

As pissed off as we both are, it doesn't (completely) taint the Los Angeles experience, as even that very day that we got robbed we were out having lots of fun. Since I've hijacked one of the desktops at my internship, and my supervisor is out sick on my last day at work (boo) I have the opportunity to point out all the fun we've had despite the theft. 

Our weekend pretty much started on Thursday when we went out with a bunch of Comedy Corner alumnus (Box, Ross, and 4 or 5 others) to the improv club iO for a free "cage match", two competing improv troupes. The show was meh, very much worth every penny that we didn't spend for it, but the company was good and we got lots of stories about the heyday of Comedy Corner. 

On the ride back from Hollywood, we chatted about the mentality of LA. Justin, our driver for the night, was talking about the differences between here and Chicago where he had been living before. He touched upon exactly what I miss about East Coast Cities - public transportation. Not just because driving in traffic is extremely annoying, but more because of the feel of a city and its residents when everyone travels together. As cheesy as it sounds, you develop a weird mindset when you're constantly separated from the rest of the city by your windshield. 

Friday brought the arrival of Jesse, which had been much anticipated. Saturday we drove up to Malibu with Chris and Box and some Comedy Corner alums to picnic on the beach and watch the enormous waves. Then, we went to Point Break Live! We had been talking about going since pretty much our first week in town and it was well worth the wait and the twenty bucks. I recommend it as a must do in Los Angeles if you like comedy and specifically laughing at the awesomeness of Point Break. Afterwards we had a late dinner and dessert in Westwood before we all headed back to our respective parts of the city and Katie and I had the awesome discovery of "holy shit our door is open. holy shit our window is broken. holy shit where are our laptops?" 

After about three solid hours of sleep Katie drove back to Phoenix (crazy girl, luckily she got in fine) and Jesse and I spent the afternoon at The Getty. The grounds of the Getty are absolutely beautiful, and sadly since I was so exhausted I found them more engaging than some of the art. There was a particularly cool photography exhibit featuring two pioneers of color photography, Paul Outerbridge  and the more contemporary Jo Ann Callis that I quite enjoyed despite exhaustion. Once I hit the point where I felt like if we didn't leave then I'd be too tired to drive back, we headed back home and took a nap before "tearing up Santa Monica like it tore me up" which included a chinese food dinner, gourmet churros, and seeing Moon. 

Currently I'm at my last day of my internship, quite bittersweet especially considering that it looks like it's going to be an extremely slow and boring day. Tomorrow I'm spending the day at the beach, as a final goodbye to the ocean which I will miss dearly, and then Wednesday I drive back to Tucson. I'm not quite sure what I'll do there, seeing as I have no laptop, our cable is shut off, and it'll be hot as hell. Hopefully my days there will include a lot of Nick and George and other honorable mentions still in Tucson. Saturday night I take a redeye to New York (essentially taking the reverse trip that Monique will be making earlier that day) and spending a few days in the Hamptons with my family and my new laptop (which the kind parents are getting for me prior to my arrival). Then it's two weeks in Boston to see friends, more family, some doctors, and generally recuperate from the LA summer. 

I don't know when I'll have the blogging opportunity next; it could be in a week when I'm in The Hamptons, in a few days when I'm in Tucson, or in a few hours when I steal Jesse's iPhone - but hopefully Monique will be updating about the shoot and her last days in New York to fill any blog void. 

I wish that I could document my last days here with detail and depth, but it looks like that's just not in the cards.

Bye for now, kids,

Sarah

Listening to: The hum of the office. 

Check It

I wish that I could be as clever as Meg Shoemaker and Phil Pinto who have created a cute tote bag that they're selling on the internet to fund their short film. It's an awesome, unconventional fundraiser...if only I had thought of it first! Check out the Love, Summer Of. campaign. 

Bye kids,

Sarah

Yup Yup

In copying Monique, here is the view from my bed, which for whatever reason Photo Booth decided to flip and make the mirror image of. Whatevs. In honor of the backwards picture, this post will go in backwards chronological order. Enjoy. 

The air mattress on the floor is the current sleeping place of Mike, who is visiting for a few days. 

After he leaves it will be the sleeping place of Jesse who will be the last visitor in our little abode. 

Today marks the first day of the last week of my Los Angeles summer. We have just returned to the beach, and despite the fact that it was one of many many visits to the Santa Monica beach. The water was the warmest it's ever been, though I didn't stay in for long because it was low tide and the waves were small. Mike bodysurfed as I enjoyed my favorite ocean activity - bodypummeling, the act of just letting yourself get beat in the face repeatedly by oncoming waves. After the water I laid in the sun, thinking about how every other trip to the beach we made felt rushed for some reason or another, like we always had things to do later. Today we lay in the sun unsure of if we were going to leave in the next minute, or next few hours, and just allowed ourselves to soak in the sun. We ended up leaving after about two hours in the sand and walked over to the pier for soft pretzels. 

I only have two days left at my internship, which actually makes me very sad. I developed a nice little routine and a good flow through the office. I make small talk and gossiped with all of my "co-workers" said hellos and goodbyes to everyone while walking in and out each day, and got generally comfortable with being there. Yesterday and Monday were the only days in the office that I had real stress. It was good stress, the kind where after it's all over you feel an immense rush of calm and pride in finishing your work. I was assisting a producer as he prepared for a shoot next week in Vancouver. This producer did not treat me like an intern, did not give me little bitch work tasks to keep me occupied (though I did have to run out and buy him and the director fresh fruit and muffins one morning) but instead he told me exactly what he needed to get ready for this shoot and left me to figure out how to get it done. After the initial rush of I'm-not-qualified-for-this fears, I got my shit done. I asked people in the office when I wasn't sure of protocol, I googled like a motherfucker, and called Canada more times in a day than I might have in my life. I got to count three grand in cash (the most I think I've ever held at once) and then sign my life away calling myself the person responsible for said money and making sure that the producer got it. After filling out the forms for the payroll company, one of the people in accounting said to me "you know, now you can say you've been a production coordinator for a day or two". 

On Sunday, Katie and I went to the Museum of Neon Art in the Historic Downtown of Los Angeles. It's funny that we went there the day after my "where are all the pretty parts of LA like in (500) Days of Summer" post because...there they are. The Historic Downtown's building we're beautiful, though slightly dilapidated, and had much of the older architecture that was featured in the movie that I hadn't found anywhere else in the city. The area had the feel of an East Coast city, and easily could have been an area of Boston or New York. The neon museum was small but extremely enjoyable. I could see other people bitching about the price of 5 whole dollars being not worth the dozen or so neon signs on display, but for me it was the kind of place that I love giving money to: a small organization who is excited about the art that they show even if it's for a niche audience. The signs themselves were pretty nifty, they ranged greatly in size and purpose, and I snapped a few pictures with my crappy point and shoot digital. 

That sums up the past few days. I'm still clueless about my script, and still in my returning-in-a-year mindset about Los Angeles. The next week will include, if all goes to plan: a visit from Jesse, a self-guided (500) Days of Summer tour, a trip to Malibu to watch Alex surf (and hopefully see the dolphins that I missed out on yesterday while I was at work), Point Break Live (finally!), maybe a Getty trip, my last days of work, and then a somber drive back to Tucson. 

I'm now off to shower the salt water out of my hair and clean the sand out of my belly button. 

Bye kids,

Sarah

Some woes and a justification

I hate scriptwriting. I never ever wanted to be a screenwriter, I just don't think the way that is needed to be good at it. Earlier in this summer I was all about it; I took my notebook down to the beach and sat and wrote, read and revised, typed and revised, only to create a script that was a big pile of 'meh'. Attempt two, an entirely different script using similar visuals and concept was also a 'bleh', but for different reasons. (George's reaction to script 2: "You figured this out in pieces as you wrote, didn't you?" - Of course I did, hence the hot mess.) 

I'm too attached to visuals and concepts to create something with a solid story and tone. I just can't figure it out. I keep going back to the ridiculous script I wrote for Writing The Narrative last semester that has such a simple, decisive plot that I practically wrote as a joke yet is a better script than any of my serious attempts. I've been so determined to shoot underwater that I'm finding myself trying to create stories around that, which is so backwards that I'm getting stuck. 

I feel like I have nothing to say or express, which really makes me a terrible art student. Part of me feels like I should just write what I know, which I have a feeling would lead to me writing a script about food. Even so, it would be a script based on what I want to show and concepts that I find amusing but probably would have a shit story. 

At this point, I'm open to anything. I really wanted to write my senior film, but really I just want something that I can be excited about and sink my teeth into. I'm open to someone else's script, co-writing, and I've even casually pondered the idea of just making a travel show pilot or food show for my senior project. Ultimately, I don't want to do that. I know I can make those post-graduation and I really want to direct another fiction piece but I'm so incredibly stuck. 

I remember thinking to myself about how I'd spend this summer getting totally ready to hit the ground running once the semester starts. Last semester we started so ahead, we already had a script written before classes started and were working on casting and scouting before other people had their ideas. Sadly, that is not the case anymore and I feel like I keep circling back to square 1 and the start-of-school deadline is fast approaching. I don't want my senior film to be a scattered mess, I want something that I can focus on with purpose. I just don't have that yet at all. 

And now, The Justification: I just found out that July is National Hot Dog month which means I have an excuse the ridiculous number of hot dogs that I have been eating this summer. Kind of. -What...were you expecting a film related justification? Oh no no. After all, apparently when I write what I know, I write about food. Maybe I will write a script that mixes masochism and food fetishes. Or maybe cannibalism. Again, concepts but no story. 

*Sigh*

Bye kids,

Sarah

Listening to: Paul Simon 

Here comes your man

After many months of anticipation I finally saw (500) Days of Summer and happily was not disappointed. I really could not have been disappointed, seeing as it's pretty much a modern Annie Hall minus the whole New York Neurotic Jew thing. It is sweet, and adorable. 

And it's hilarious that I've had an on again/off again crush on Joseph Gordon-Levitt since 10 Things I Hate About You came out. He is the only crush I had when I was a kid that I still find attractive, the boy just keeps getting better looking. The entire movie just made me want a boy who wears sweater vests. I fell a little bit in love when he sang "Here Comes Your Man" in the karaoke bar. What karaoke bar has Pixies songs? 

 

The only problem with the movie was that it made Los Angeles look too pretty. I kept wondering where they shot it, I've never seen any part of Los Angeles look nearly as beautiful as in that movie. It made the drive home slightly depressing. 

That's all.

Bye kids,

Sarah

So Cal is where my mind states, but it's not my state of mind*

A few posts ago I made a list of everything that I wanted to do before leaving. I realized that I have been surprisingly lazy about knocking items off of it -though we did go back to Pinks, go to The Broad at LACMA, and eat in Little Ethiopia. I think the reason that I'm not striving to call this city conquered is because a) that's impossible and b) I seem to have mentally solidified moving out here in a year. No logistically or definitely, but I have definitely let myself think/act/live as if I'll be back here next May. 

One thing is for certain, get ready for a huge-ass collection of LA restaurant reviews all over this blog after I leave. 

As aforementioned, we went to BCAM (Broad Contemporary Art Museum) at LACMA (Los Angeles County Museum of Art) yesterday. It was a great little visit, made better by the fact that it's free after 5, and is a prime example of my future-LA-living mentality since I kept thinking "it's cool if we don't see everything, we can come back all the time." BCAM pretty much reminded me of a larger ICA both in the architecture and organization of the building and similarities of the collections. Strangely enough, I had seen a lot of the art on display in other museums. I recognized several pieces from the abstract art exhibit from the MFA years ago, some Jeff Koons that was at The Met last year, and the same Jasper John's American Flag painting that I am convinced I see hanging in every single museum I have ever been to. The current exhibit there was pretty intriguing, contemporary art from 12 different Korean artists. Most of the display was a huge hit or miss for me, as seems to be the case with me and all contemporary art. The LACMA grounds are beautiful, despite being under construction. On the outdoor elevator attached to BCAM we were able to spot the Hollywood sign on the hills which I had never bothered looking for on any drive around the city (I'll play tourist to some degree, but I draw the line somewhere). 

That's about all for now. It's a Friday afternoon at work and I'm suffering from a major food coma from lunch. 

Bye kids,

Sarah 

Listening to: Nirvana off a co-workers computer

*Who else remembers this song?  I think I was like 10 when it was popular but I still know all the words. 

For the love of spec vids

While browsing some music video websites yesterday I found something pretty promising for lovers of low budget, conceptual music videos. Usually when someone makes a spec music video the best thing that comes out of it is maybe a mention of it on the band's blog or website, but rarely does it succeed in the way that Ross Ching's Death Cab spec has. While the idea for the video is not new or inventive, it's a certainly well done and rumor has it that the band is now calling it the "official" music video for the track. Pretty darn cool. 

Here is Ross Ching's video for Death Cab for Cutie's 'Little Bribes'. 

Hey Ladies

Before I get to the bulk of this blog entry I will re-state what Mo already beat me to which is: Alex is coming back to LA! He's coming back only a week before I leave, but whatevs. I talked to my boss-man at my company and Alex will be working three days a week (two of which are days that I work, though since we only overlap a week that won't matter much). --End Blog Overlap--

Speaking of that company at which I work, I've spent today and yesterday doing a lot of answer phones, dealing with the exec's and their demands, internet shenanigans, and chatting with the other assistant in my area. I've gossiped with her before during other days that I've been perched in that area, but these past few days have had some particularly interesting conversation. 

She tells me, despite being a self-proclaimed feminist, "I truly hate saying this, but you don't want to work for a woman". She claimed that while she expected powerful women in the industry to embrace younger women trying to make their way she found that most of them were easily intimidated and often would not help other women working beneath them. Sadly, I can see it. Not like the male exec's are promoting their female assistants left and right, but there is a very odd sense of competition in the dynamic of a powerful female in the industry and the women working below her. I am not sure if this is the same with male/male boss/assistant relationships, but it's certainly an intriguing thought. 

Women and Hollywood had an entry a while back about Nora Ephron who stated in a recent article that she wanted women directors to "stop whining and just do it". I personally agree with that statement from Ms. Ephron (not just because I love her, I also think she's right), but the Women and Hollywood blog seemed hesitant, asking why Ms. Ephron didn't do more to aid up and coming female filmmakers. I do not think that Nora Ephron is guilty of the same bitterness that comes from the aforementioned female execs. I do think, unfortunately, that a lot of times it's very true that the people who are hardest to the women in the industry are other women. Even with a (slowly) growing number of female filmmakers, how many of them employ female department heads in their crew? Or female crew in general? WaH put out these fun statistics a few months ago. 

So, in the words of the Beastie Boys: "Hey ladies in the place I'm callin' out to ya"...go make some frickin' movies and be nice to other ladies. 

Bye kids,

Sarah

Listening to: (Surprisingly enough, not the Beastie Boys) Hey Mama Wolf - Devendra Banhart  

Chill

I'm not sure where the whole "LA is laid back" thing came from. I know the stereotypes say that the Northeast is stressed and frantic while the West Coast is chill and relaxed, but I'm not sure why that is. Maybe it's so hard for me to be relaxed in the city because a) I'm not a real West Coast Girl or more likely b) It's hard to relax in a city where everyone is trying to fight for the same career goals. I like my variety, the fact that everyone here wants to get into my industry doesn't make me feel like I belong, it makes me feel like I'm always being sized up. 

I've met people in LA that I think are maybe too relaxed. Example: I was on a short film set this weekend that John got us on since his co-worker was ADing. It was very low key, on the same level of the student shorts we've all made, except the actors were all working television actors. However, the director casually tells us that we got the location house for free on the condition so that we clean it. Guess who was casually asked to clean it, I'll tell you right now it was not anyone involved in making that deal.  Of course since the shoot is so chill and relaxed that would be okay. To me, that's not okay. I don't say that I'm "above" doing much on sets, but I will say that my resume does not have "dish-washer" or "stove cleaner" anywhere on it. Maybe I'm just not laid back enough to go with the flow when I show up to do grip work and am handed a sponge. (Side note: the shoot wasn't all bad. The people were mostly really cool, the actors were fun, and I did some Second AC and Swing Grip work in addition to cleaning.) 

Then there are the people who are not chill at all, and they are the coincidentally the people I most associate with California, maybe because I see most of them at work. So many people in the industry are uptight and self-involved far over the point of being relaxed that I can't figure out who let them get that way. 

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying this as a complaint about the city. I am, after all, from the "uptight and stressed" part of the country and I guess I just wish that people would be more honest about the amount of tension that exists in this city. The laid back beach town is a myth. Don't hate on the stress, but don't hide it either. 

Bye kids,

Sarah 

Listening to: True Blood (We can't stop watching it!)

Dear Monique,

It's 2:01 here, making it 5:01 in New York - happy Friday afternoon.

I was planning on responding to your letter earlier in the day, but I didn't expect to have something to do the moment I got into the office. Friday's are the best days in the office because Melissa is here interning as well, and because we get free bagels. As always, when I come in first thing in the morning I check in with my supervisor to see what needs to be done. He pointed me in the direction of the bays to help one of the shoots organize their wrap and said that Melissa was already over there helping. We spent the first few hours of our day organizing the talent and payroll sections of their wrap book and got free lunch out of the deal. Right now we're just chilling, waiting for another task to pop up. Melissa is falling asleep next to me but I don't want to wake her up. Teehee. 

It's interesting how you say that those things are over. I don't picture babywine, cupcakes, and John laying on our floor being over at all. I picture the next year being pretty much exactly as it was (minus a cat and plus a Tom) with babywine, cupcakes, et al. It's the fact that the year can continue as always and then it will end suddenly that makes me so bummed, but I never considered a real change to our lives once back in Tucson. 

Brandon is leaving tomorrow for Tahoe for the rest of the summer so we are having a farewell dinner for him tonight. Our tribe is shrinking quickly. We all still hope for an Alex return but no news yet. Katie and I are the next ones scheduled to leave, we're heading back to Tucson on the 29th. I'm not at all okay with how fast the summer is moving. There is too much left to do- and too much left to not do. 

I read your script. It was a definite mess of ideas, but a lovely one. I'm excited to see what elements you pull out of it for more refined draft. There's too much going on in the draft I read to discuss now, but that means there is plenty to work with. My script is...a script. I've written two completely different stories out of the same idea. There's a chance I'll write several more completely different scripts before figuring out which elements I want to keep from each. I also made things interesting by telling Jesse that if he writes the script idea he's been talking about and I like it better than my best attempt at a script I might make it. Who knows. 

Be well and happy. Despite random freakouts about the future, I have been able to be both of those things. I don't even mind the stress about the future, I'm embracing the fact that we're all at least a little masochistic because it's the things that keep you up at night that are worth pursuing. 

Love,

Sarah 

P.S. Though I am sad you didn't get very close to the action at the HP premiere, at least you didn't get swine flu from the Weasley boy.