My Blog(y Wog)

So I'm back from Vermont, a little sunburned, a little wiser. I left for Long Island (where Alex and Christy live) on Thursday so that we could head down to Vermont first thing in the morning, literally - 4 a.m. Surprisingly, I was pretty awake in the morning and along the way we stopped for doughnuts and coffee (yes). The 6 hour ride was pretty entertaining: we listened to music, read from Russel Brand's hilariously titled "My Booky Wook", listened to Jim Gaffigin's stand up, and looked at the epic scenery that is Vermont. Joe should've shot "The Wind and the Hills" there, it was just that epic.

When we hit Vermont, we headed to Alex's house. His brother, Jeremy, (yes, he is exactly the same as he was in Alex's documentary) made us ecstasy - I'm not even gonna bother explaining this. But, just know, if he ever offers you it, take it - maybe.

Afterwards, we went over to Christy's house and hung out in (and around) the pool. Alex thought it would be a fun idea to put Russell in the middle of the pool on a raft. Bottom line, I thought it was too. We got rained out and went downtown to try and check out the heart of their town. But, sadly, the rain was terrible, so we grabbed some ice cream and headed back to Alex's for his brother's birthday dinner.*

In Burlington, they celebrate the 4th on the 3rd, so we headed down to Christy's dads boat to watch the fireworks. It was absolutely beautiful. Imagine, thirty minutes of non stop fireworks so close that it made the boat shake. Sexy, right? Moving on... We headed over to Alex's friend, Quinn's house for a lil party. We drank, we talked, they played music. It was really chill.

On Saturday, Alex's mom made us french toast* and homemade Mocha's.* Thank you. We went back downtown again in an attempt to dodge the rain. We did for a while. I bought a ridiculous shirt and a bunch of earrings. We got these epic sandwiches called "Red Onion" sandwiches at a store called [surprisingly] "Red Onion." We grabbed "Gran Torino" (you know, that movie where Clint growls and kills people) We headed back to Christy's to play with Russell, eat our grub and watch the goods. She has a home theater in her basement, perfect for escaping the rain. Later that night, we headed back to Alex's where his mom made us burgers.* The night continued to flourish with a game of Donkey Conga (win), a bonfire (fail), fireflies (mild fail) and the drinking version of scrabble (win). Before long, we headed back to Quinn's for another night of good conversation, good music, and good drinks. It filled my Tucson nostalgia.

Sunday, we rolled out of bed and headed to the lake. Christy's dad took us out on his boat and we got these really bomb mozzarella sticks. The boat ride was amazing. I was in heaven - I love a good thrill. And then it was done. We packed up and hit the road. The ride, once again, was amazing. 6 hours of nonstop conversation... everything from submission to sex (by the way, they aren't the same thing). Before I knew it, I was back in the grungy city, standing with my suitcase, outside of my 8 floor walk up.

So that's the tale - but it isn't the story. Great moments in VT weekend:

1. "You traded him for what?" "An IPod."

2. "Having a finger up your butt while getting a blow job. It's an interesting way to live."

3. "Is that a penis in your pants?" "Yes" "You lied to me!"

4. "He spite pooped in your bed."

5. "They were coming after my children!!"

6. "I was committed."

7. "Oh my God, that town is named Coxsacie!"

Less-Than-Thee You, Monique

Listening to: Joel sing renditions of Hair - amazing, yet disturbing(ly good)

Footnotes:

*If a French woman ever asks you to cook for her, say yes. You are guaranteed to food-gasm**

** yes, I stole the word food-gasm from you, Sarah.