Tuesday, September 29, 2009


It is the early morning of Monique's 21st birthday! She has chosen to celebrate this event by sleeping (good choice) and I have chosen to celebrate it by not sleeping, as I can't for the life of me get motivated to write this damn paper. 

I'm just done with "real" classes. I feel done with writing papers, I just don't want to do them anymore. This isn't a difficult essay, I've already outlined and researched it, but for the past 48 hours, including the 4 I spent at work today doing nothing, I just stare at the blank word document and simple don't feel like writing. 

It's due in about 11 hours, and it's a short enough paper that I can probably pump it out in two or three hours, but I can't start it. It'll happen, but it might take another hour of procrastinating. 

Anywho, I hope that Monique has a lovely birthday because she is a lovely lady. 

Monday, September 28, 2009

Say "Cheese"

Yes, it's been a while. Seems like there are so many other things on my to do list other than update the bloggy-wog. The problem is, I haven't been doing those "other things." I mean, I go through the motions, but nothing really ever gets done well. It's been frustrating being back in Tucson after my ridiculously productive summer. And, after thinking about it, I think part of my productivity had to do with this blog. After a day of work, I was inspired to go out and do things and take photo's because I knew I'd get to share them with Sarah (and all of you) later on. When I was feeling lazy, I'd force myself to go out and try something new, so that when I got back to my (cousin's) New York bedroom, I could act as NY representative and show all of the beautiful things that the east coast had to offer. That way, when post college time comes, both of us have an idea of what to expect in whichever home we choose.

So, I've decided to come back to the blog. I figure that my lack of motivation may differ if I have a blog (aka electronic Sarah) to answer to at the end of the day. And, I always find that writing about something makes me more excited or motivated... It keeps the wild mind flowing.

Lets begin. 

 This is John. He is my classmate. He is a film student. He is also going to be one of my actors. Woot. I have all three of my actor's secured. I'm really happy with their performance and the way they handle the material. I have my shot list completed and my DP (Mr. Oliver) is working on the storyboards. The lighting scheme has been discussed. The locations are locked. I just need an exterior. The script is locked. I have some props to buy and some equipment to rent (which is proving difficult - does any one know where I can get a remote follow focus?) but other than that, I'm good.

I'm shooting in three weeks. Everything is there. I'm pretty low stress. I have a few things to tie up. But I'm in a good place. I just need a little excitement and passion about the project - it's that "going through the motions" bull. Meh. Here's an example. I had my first rehearsal last week. My actors give a fine performance but they aren't passionate about the material. It's my job to make them passionate. The way I can get them excited is to be excited myself. I'm just not sure how to get there. Sure, my project will be good regardless, but I really want it to be great. I really want to have so much fun with this project because, well, it's my last one for a while. And who doesn't want to be enthused by the things they create? 


I'm working on a couple of other projects. The main ones I'm thinking about now are:
Dinner - by Jillian - a gay couple meet to discuss and put closure to their relationship. 
The Big Job - by Adam - four cowboys journey through the desert in search of diamonds.
Lunch - by Katie - lunch ladies seek revenge when they find out their boss is cutting funds to give himself a raise.

I'm doing art for all three and AD-ing Jillian's as well. The process so far has been a lot of fun. Adam's is the most in that it requires a lot of specific dressing and problem solving bits. Plus there are a lot of spaces I'm working with. I'm most excited about his for the same reason I've already discussed - he made me excited. The amount of passion and work he is putting in his project makes me want to make his film great. Where does he get that passion? I need it!! Okay...

Katie's is cool too. We are making a room full of can's. It's gonna be sweet when it's done. She's shooting next weekend, and there is a lot to do between now and then. We are going to get props tomorrow and I'm meeting with the label designer tomorrow as well. 

Jillian's is going to be beautiful. Her location is absolutely stunning. We are shooting in the kitchen of this cooking school in Northern Tucson. The film is going to take place at sunset so the lighting in the room will be stunning. I'm really excited to see how it turns out.

1. Find exterior location - permit
2. Polaroid Boyfriend art breakdown - props, polaroids, poladroids, dressing and costume
3. Equipment - Misty's rentals and that damn remote follow focus
4. Rehearsal's, Production Meeting, finalize plans
5. crafties and budget
6. Lunch art breakdown and prop shopping
7. The Big Job art breakdown and prop shopping
8. All AD duties for Dinner (and then Torment... the next project)

And did I mention tomorrow's my birthday? I turn 21. That means bars... maybe. 

As Always,
Currently Watching: Sandra's Money Saving Meals

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Dear Monique,

Have we switched bodies? Have you become me? I ask you this for two reasons: firstly, because I cleaned a lot yesterday and that is clearly a You trait and secondly because you are starting to stress like me. I'm not saying you are not allowed to stress and freak out, you obviously obtain that right. However, I am saying that I know it'll all work out. Really, this is just me stating that I will be your cuddle producer. End of story. 


Monday, September 7, 2009

Pout Pout

Okay. I'm back. Back here for a quick rant. Let's rant.

I'm not all that into my project anymore. Perhaps it's because I'm bummed that it is an adaptation. I wanted to do something I created, from the ground up. Perhaps it's because I'm shooting in a month. This short term schedule feels like junior films all over again. Perhaps it's because the walls are grey in my two primary shooting spaces. I don't like the color scheme and I can't change it and I don't know where else to shoot, or how to rectify it.*

Maybe it's the money. Because, once again, the fucking money is coming into play. I can't put too much cash into this project for the main reason that I have none. None. Zero. Zilch. Not only that, but I'm trying to save up to move to New York,** the most expensive city in the country, in August.  If I could find a job, which hasn't happened yet, it doesn't really matter at this moment in time, because... well, where is the time?

I agreed to work on a bunch of projects, and I'm excited about it, I am. But I took on some big roles in a few of them... roles that require pre-production, roles that require me to actually do good, strong work. I want to do good work. I hate half-assing it and putting out shit.*** But, the point is, keeping my mind organized is proving difficult. Structuring my project, thinking about others, doing bull shit school work, worrying about a job, making time for my mates and family,**** and trying to figure out how in God's name I'm going to get to New York and get a job next year is starting to psych me out.

I'm not freaking. I'm really not. If anything, I'm removed. I'm numb to the idea - which will only fuck me in the long run. All I want to do is take one thing at a time: work on my film, focus on my project, do a good job and get it done. Then I'll be ready for the next. Multi-tasking is no longer my strong suit. I miss those days....
Okay, okay. I guess it's not really time that's a problem. I can find time. Life isn't too crazy yet. It's more of motivation. I have so little, which is surprising because I came off of summer with so much. I feel alone. I feel like I'm making this film alone, or I feel segregated from those who are making it with me. I want the team sport. I want my Jillian nights where we collaborated and it was intense and there was wine involved. This isn't how movies are made.

I need a producer. Producing your own movie is dumb. And I need someone to cuddle with. And when we cuddle, they'll say, "Monique, stop worrying. You've got this." Do they have an inspirational cuddle section on Craigslist?

Pout done.


*Momentarily. Once I de-frustrate, I'll be good to go.
**Yes, I've decided. I'm happiest there.
***sorry for the double poop reference
****who bitch, bitch, bitch about my "distanced" behavior. I got a lot on my mind, boo's!

The quiet before the storm

It's Monique here, live from Scottsdale.

I went home this weekend for the annual check up (that had to get rescheduled due to the New Mexico trip) and to visit my mom. The weekend was pretty nice. I had some mild shenanigans. I hung with my brother and his girlfriend... it was a night of licks and flicks, my favorite combination. I had some well needed alone time. And, I did a bunch of errands that I've been putting off. I even managed to be mildly productive, as I spent a good chunk of time prepping for the epic casting call we are holding this weekend.

I think that's what I really need right now... my actors. I have a location locked, and am a bit surprised and nervous at how easy it was to lock a model studio for a few days. I have one more location that needs tending to, and then I'll be set. Once I have my locations, dressing is easy enough to deal with... but the actors, that's the wild card. 

In my flick, the performance is really the make or break of the whole piece. To a degree, performance always is, but it is especially so in my case. Perhaps my nerves about performance are a combination of the strange relationship that my characters have and the fact that the rest of my crew is super competent; I'm not even stressed about those details (which is terribly nice in a way, nerve wracking in another).

I think that's enough "wild mind" for today.


Currently watching: "I Love You, Man" 

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Lazy Day

As I sit enjoying one of the last lazy weekends I'll be able to have for some time I am struck by how calm I feel. My day has been an interesting mix of productive and useless. I ran some errands, did the dishes, worked on my script, wrote my character descriptions and some logline attempts, and have also watched an absurd amount of television. 

When the programming on Food Network was too underwhelming I found myself watching some show about wedding planning on one of those channels that would have shows about wedding planning. I couldn't help but think about how if/when I ever get married I'll be so much more together than these crazy people. My logic? It's pre-production. It's the exact same process, same stress over details leading up to one short weekend, and even the type of details are similar. There are costumes, locations, set decorations, catering; it's the same type of obsessing we've all been doing for our projects now. 

That's why it's comforting to know that my current strange wave of serenity is able to occur as I kick my pre-production into gear. I have a new zen-like mentality that I wonder if I'll be able benefit from, or even sustain longer than this weekend. Now that I have a script that I'm happy with I have an alarmingly passive que sera mindset that everything will fall into place. Should I trust this calm and embrace it? Should I get back to my anxious ways and feed off the stress as usual? 

Do it to it,

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Yay New Things!

As Monique so proudly declared earlier: our blog is transforming anew! Since we are now happily reunited and are no longer living in Summer Fantasy land, the new direction of our lives is our our senior projects! 

Despite the fact that other classmates of ours have been deep in pre-production for weeks (*cough* Monique *cough*) and I have been lagging slightly behind, I think that today feel like the official starting point of this project for me. Today in class we planned out the shooting schedule for the semester and I now have official shooting dates to work towards. This makes it real. Too real. Good real. My story currently exists as a treatment which is being made into a script by Katie, whom I trust greatly as a writer. Once this script gets nailed down it's location scouting, casting, rounding out the crew, and getting down to business. I finally feel ready and excited. 

It's on. It's so on. 

New blog direction calls for a new sign off:

Do it to it,

Out with the Old, In with the New

Now that our internships are over, Sarah and I have picked up our Tucson lives, and entered a new phase: production.

And with that comes a new phase of our blog. So, this entry is the ceremonial good-bye to our old traveling blog. *moment of silence* 

This entry is also the ceremonial hello to our new production blog. *sound trumpets*

What will this new blog cover, you may ask. Well, I'll tell you! It will be a personal look at two film students attempts to create a short film from pre to post. We'll bitch, rant, moan, make lists, and recollect the hilarious and (hopefully) rewarding experiences we are about to undergo.

Lets begin. NOW!